January 1, 2025

Arlene Cohen Miller Interview How Can Gratitude Transform Our Work-Life Balance?

Discover how gratitude can transform work-life balance with Arlene Cohen Miller. Learn practical techniques for healing and self-care to create a life filled with joy and less stress. Join us on this journey! #Gratitude #WorkLifeBalance #Supernormalized #podcast #interview https://supernormalized.com/139/
Arlene Cohen Miller Interview How Can Gratitude Transform Our Work-Life Balance?

Show Notes

Arlene Cohen Miller Interview How Can Gratitude Transform Our Work-Life Balance?
Supernormalized Podcast
Arlene Cohen Miller Interview How Can Gratitude Transform Our Work-Life Balance?
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Arlene Cohen Miller is a powerhouse of inspiration and practical wisdom, dedicated to helping women find harmony in their work and personal lives. As an A-V Rated Attorney and a Professional Certified Coach, she brings a unique blend of legal expertise and coaching skills to the table. Arlene’s journey has been anything but linear; from beginning her law practice while becoming a new mother to navigating the complexities of work-life balance through various life transitions, she has experienced it all.

In this episode, we dive deep into how gratitude can be the key to manifesting a balanced and love-filled life. Arlene passionately shares her insights on breath work, relaxation techniques, and the importance of celebrating our victories—no matter how small. She emphasizes that releasing what keeps us stuck allows more love to flow into our lives, fostering positivity and hope.

Arlene’s approach to coaching is rooted in compassion and authenticity, drawing from her rich experience in both law and holistic practices. Her commitment to helping others transform their inner critic into an inner coach is a testament to her belief that everyone deserves to live with less stress and more joy.
Join us as we explore Arlene’s methods for maintaining clear boundaries, embracing kindness, and recalibrating to peace—all essential tools in creating a fulfilling life. This episode promises to uplift and motivate you to take actionable steps toward your own work-life harmony.

https://jewelconsultancy.com/

Transcript

[00:00:00] Speaker A: When this body dies, it dies. You know, the soul and the spirit live on and we’ll find ourselves in other places and spaces.

But this physical body dies. But while we’re in it, it thinks, you know, we need to take care of it and we need to parent.

[00:01:04] Speaker B: Welcome to supernormalize, the podcast where we challenge the conventional, break boundaries, and normalize the seemingly supernatural. Join me, C.J. barnaby, in the liminalist space to explore less charted realms of existence and to unravel the mysteries of life experience. Each episode I’m blessed with the opportunity to talk to regular people from across the world where they openly share their understanding and wisdom in service to others. If you’re looking to upgrade your life, you’ve come to the right place. Be sure to like and subscribe and I’ll bring you great transforming conversations each week. My treasured viewers and listeners. If you have a life story or healing modality or unique knowledge you’d love to share, reach out to me at Supernormalized Me. Let’s together embrace acceptance of the supernatural and unusual. What it really is completely normal. On supernormalize today we have Arlene Cohen Miller, a dynamic work life balance coach who is specializes in helping people find their harmony in the chaos. We talk about the body and the importance of parenting our own bodies and basically parenting our own sense of self and consciousness and in doing so, finding that way in life in a mindful way so that you’re actually looking after yourself, which is really, really important in today’s world because everything is so chaotic and everything’s like an attention grabbing headline or an app beeping to get your attention right now or somebody that wants a bit more time of you and giving you phone calls. All that is stressful. Arlene and I talk about how to walk in that with consciousness. All right, enjoy the show.

Welcome to Super Normalized. Arlene Cohen Miller, welcome to the show. Eileen, I’m actually interested in hearing your story about how you basically help people with the work that you do nowadays. I mean, it’s. You’ve got a quite an unusual story in that you used to be a. Or do you still actually practice as a lawyer as well?

[00:03:10] Speaker A: I’m still a licensed attorney in Colorado. I occasionally practice, but I had two different law firms and those have been sold, so not a lot anymore. No.

[00:03:19] Speaker B: Oh, okay. So your main focus is healing with people nowadays.

[00:03:23] Speaker A: Yeah. And working with work, life balance coaching and transformational mentoring and meditation. Yeah.

[00:03:29] Speaker B: All right, so tell us your story about that. I mean, you must have been like A sort of normal person yourself and went down a sort of path where you actually got to the point where you’re burnt out and went, oh, I gotta find this work life balance. Is that how it played out?

[00:03:43] Speaker A: I don’t think I was ever a totally normal person, actually. What happened? What happened, what happened with the work life balance is I decided I want to go to law school. When I was 15, I got my degree, I went to law school, I became licensed and I moved with my ex up to Ohio and I decided that I worked for a couple of other attorneys for a couple of years. I opened my own small solo practice and immediately I was pregnant.

So we had decided we’re going to get pregnant, but I actually became pregnant before we started that. So anyway, that was a big surprise. And all our family lived in Kentucky, so nowhere near us. And I had no support team. So I experienced firsthand. And my ex husband was in his residency at a big hospital in Cleveland, Ohio, so He was working 70, 80 hours a week, something crazy. And so I was like out of my own. So I guess the reason that I stepped into becoming a work life balance coach was I really understand what it feels like and I didn’t have that back then. There was no coach, there was no mentor to talk to some of my girlfriends. And I just really want to give back in that way so that people can stand on my shoulders and have a different experience.

And um. Yeah, so that’s the beginning part of the story, I guess. Unless you want me to keep on going.

[00:05:07] Speaker B: No, no, no, that’s fine. I, I was just asking about that, you know, because it sounds like what happened, that your, your baby coming along actually forced you into understanding work life balance.

[00:05:19] Speaker A: That would be correct because I didn’t have them. I didn’t have him until I was 30. So I, you know, I got married. I forget, 22 or something like that. I was pretty young, but I was going through law school, he was going through med school. I did not want to have a baby then I had enough on my plate and then all of a sudden, hormones hit like, I want a kid. And there he was, you know, before I even. We even really tried. So yeah, that’s how it worked out.

[00:05:45] Speaker B: Well, babies come when they meant to come, I think.

[00:05:48] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I feel so too.

[00:05:51] Speaker B: And what did you learn with that? When it came to discovering that need of work life balance? I mean, were you actually pretty much working really flat out as it was anyway or had a very busy life?

[00:06:02] Speaker A: Well, I’d already, I just Quit being associate. I just opened my own law firm. So I didn’t have that much business. It was like a storefront office with two other attorneys and employee employment agency. I wasn’t in any big high rise office. I was just sort of doing my own thing. And so my business was really small when he was born and basically I tried to have him on a swing in my office going back and forth. That didn’t work. I couldn’t get anything done. So I just went around shopping for, you know, like a stay at home mom. I found a really cool lady stay at home grandmother that was taking care of about three or four other kids. I really liked her. She was really loving and caring. She loved kids. She had two teenage daughters that were helping her and I thought, oh, this is going to help me. And she was wonderful. When she retired, her daughter was in her early 20s and she helped me for a couple of years, you know, because I was working a lot more by then, you know, just to make sure that my son got to all of his activities, you know, while I was in the middle of my day. So I feel really blessed, you know, that I was able to find someone that, you know, I could partner with, that we had similar values. She really loved children and I helped her and she helped me.

[00:07:13] Speaker B: That’s nice. That’s nice. So what happens for people typically when their work life balance is out of order?

[00:07:21] Speaker A: Oh my God, there’s so many stories. I think everyone has a different story and I think the misnomer or the, the people have is that we’re going to get to a place that everything is balanced. That doesn’t happen because we’re always changing and evolving and growing. And I like to bring work life balance and harmony into it. And so we’re just basically working with people. I work with women in this area so that they can have a better handle on it. And the way that I help them is that we work from the inside out because there’s all kind of life hacks and mom hacks and things that will help you to organize your time, give you a little bit more time in your day, but it doesn’t change how you feel on the inside. You’ve got all these hats, you’ve got all these duties and responsibilities. So what I do is I help them to feel more confident, to feel more worthy, to turn their inner critic into an inner coach, to work with gratitude, to find ways to engage in self love and self care for themselves so they’re not trying to get from an empty cup so just all the kinds of ways that we can work to have transformation on the inside. So that what? So even if we have this exact same situation on the outside, we know how to breathe, we know how to align to love and center in our hearts. We know how to be in a space where we can handle what’s going on without losing. Without losing.

[00:08:45] Speaker B: It sounds like you’re offering up skills like life skills that actually help people to find the space to be themselves.

[00:08:58] Speaker A: Yeah. And you know, it can be, it’s like different than when, you know, I was born. My, my mom’s parents were pretty poor and she thought she had made it and wanted to be a stay at home mom, which, which is what she did when we got older. She volunteered. But a lot of women, you know, who still tend to be more the primary caretakers than men, although there, you know, there’s more partnership in that now. They don’t have a choice because of the way the economy is. They have to work. And so it’s a different situation and it is difficult in this world. It’s a different world than when I was born in. So, yeah, there’s a lot that both parents have on the table to balance out to be good parents, to enjoy their work and to find time to actually enjoy their own space in life. It’s an ongoing process.

[00:09:46] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure.

[00:09:47] Speaker A: So we can bring more joy. We can bring more joy and more self love and more self care into it so that we do have a different experience.

[00:09:55] Speaker B: Okay. How does gratitude and work life balance interconnect in your experience?

[00:10:02] Speaker A: Well, I know that you deal with a lot of people on your show with all kinds of topics and, and you know, gratitude is like a really master key for anything in your life. You know, if you have that really deep, heartfelt gratitude for starting off with all the blessings in your life, you’re going to feel a lot differently. So I think gratitude basically connects up with everything, but it does connect up with your work life balance because, you know, we can just really start off with the basics because a lot of people feel, and I think we’re taught this, that we need to wait for something to be grateful for. And that’s just not the truth. If we really look at our lives, I mean, I have a comfortable bed to sleep in, I have food in my fridge. I have this nice comfy chair, this little corner of the room. There’s so many little things that if we look around that we’ve created for ourselves, it’s like, wow, pretty good manifestation. I might not Be the richest chick on the beach or whatever like that. I don’t care. But there’s so much to be grateful for, you know, the people that love us, that we love them. You know, my car is a little old lady girl, but I love her and she gets me everywhere. I call her Lucille. There’s all kinds of things like that that just light our heart, hearts up. But we don’t. We just say, oh, that’s just nothing, or we just forget about it and we’re looking at other people or what we think they have and wanting more because that’s what society sort of pushes in that direction. So it’s important to take that step back and really not just do gratitude from the head. Really find things every day to be grateful for. You know, there’s, you know, you know, if you have kids, you have friends, you have a family, you have a life, or even if you don’t, there’s always something to be grateful for. Always. And when you, when you, when you focus on that, you’re going to draw more of that to your life and everything is going to feel different. And then things are going to open up and you’re going to be more expanded and have more space because you’re holding a bigger space instead of being all contracted like this in fear, anxiety, and worry. And in that space, it’s really, really hard to get anything done.

[00:12:08] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. People don’t realize the amount of things that we actually need to have gratitude for in our lives. Even the simplest of things. I mean, like you said, we. It seems like we take for granted what we actually have and have that shiny object syndrome where we’re always looking afar, afield for something else that is going to be the next thing to get our attention and to be happy about. But what about being happy about being here and now?

[00:12:36] Speaker A: Right. Yeah. And I’ve watched a lot of my friends go through that. You know, they had, they had money, they were able to buy really nice cars. They get it, they really love it. And then they’re on to maybe, you know, buying another one because they had that kind of money, but none of it ever really brought them any kind of lasting happiness. Yeah, it’s interesting.

[00:12:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Experiences, I think experiences are better than, than buying things in the end because they last.

[00:12:59] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

[00:13:03] Speaker B: So when faced with frustration or overwhelm, what’s your go to strategy? So, you know, for people that are actually completely out of balance, what’s, what’s one of the things that you recommend for people to help them to step out of that process they’ve got themselves in.

[00:13:19] Speaker A: Well, I’ve got a couple things, but the first thing, and I know that it’s out there and everyone’s heard of it, but people don’t practice it. And that’s just simple breathing techniques that you can do anywhere, anytime that take your body out of fight or flight into rest and relax mode. And it can be just as simple as I’m breathing in through my nose, I’m breathing out through my nose and my out breath is longer than my in breath. And I breathe that way until I start to calm down. And so. And we can do that anywhere, no one’s going to even notice. We can be doing something for our kids, we can be doing something at work, we can be listening someone go blah, blah, blah, blah, blah on the phone anywhere. We can do this kind of breath work. And what happens is, is that first of all, we are oxygenating our bodies. Second of all, we are, because the out breath is longer is physiologically. I mean, I had a scientist explain it to me the other day and I’m lying in my head, I’m like, that’s right, that’s right. I don’t remember a word that she said, but I feel it. And anyone that practices this kind of stuff has felt it. And you just start to calm down. You know, it can be waiting in line to check out, just breathing in through the nose, breathing out through the nose, the out breath longer than the in breath, and it just calms you down. And I guess if it’s okay if I share, maybe one other thing that’s really helpful with that is that I, I find that I, if I can get out in nature, even if I can’t, what I do is I visualize like from my high heart, there’s this column of light going down my body, down my legs out, my feet coming out as these huge roots of light and anchoring into the heart of the planet. So my heart is anchored to Gaia’s heart with the being that embodies planet Earth. I’m a little woohoo here, but I’ll just go out on a limb. And so she’s a being, she embodies this planet. She loves us, we’re her kids. And you can really feel that love when we connect with her. And if we’re really grounded and fully present in our body here now, it’s so much easier to become, you know, if we’re thinking about the past, either joyfully or remorsefully, or we’re, we’re thinking about the future and maybe looking forward to something, or we’re anxious about something, we’re not here, we’re not here. And when we’re here and fully present, it’s a lot harder, almost impossible in moments to be really anxious. We can just allow our feelings to sort of move forward through us and let them go. And so I find that if I’m outside and it’s beautiful in nature or by trees or, you know, some really beautiful land, I live at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, so there’s just a nice view right out of my window, all that stuff really helps. Nature is really healing. So if we can combine nature and grounding and breathwork somehow in the course of a day or, you know, even like a hot shower, because that washes off your day, washes off that negative energy that maybe has accumulated in your bodies and feel those little kind of things that everyone can do are amazing.

[00:16:13] Speaker B: Or even if you’re brave enough, a cold shower, because that actually is like a hard reset.

[00:16:18] Speaker A: I know. My friends love it. And, you know, if I’ve done hot yoga, yes, I can get in there like that. I’m working up to it. They’re, like, really good. They’ll jump in these, you know, big vats of ice. And I’m like, oh, I so admire you. One of these days, I’m going to do it.

[00:16:34] Speaker B: So you’re talking about this sort of practice being a bit woo, but I gotta say, that’s not woo at all. It’s, you know, it’s natural to connect with the planet. It’s natural to connect with your body consciously. And it’s natural to find that center space. I mean, it’s actually unnatural to be pushed out of it and worried about the future and worried about the past when, you know, the true nature is being here now. So, yeah, I wouldn’t say it’s woo by any means.

[00:17:01] Speaker A: I feel that way, but I don’t. You know, sometimes people hear it for the first time and they’re like, sort of put off, and then they don’t listen to you. And maybe that’s not your audience at all. But I always like to find a way to normalize it because there is scientific basis and there is a physiological connection, and that gives some people the ability to go, oh, I can try it. Yeah, because I don’t think everyone is, you know, open to stuff they haven’t really been raised with.

[00:17:29] Speaker B: Well, that’s what the show is about. Supernormalized.

[00:17:32] Speaker A: I know, but. I know, but sometimes other people Click in. I’m just trying to reach everybody. Oh, yeah, I won’t do that anymore. Yeah, yeah, I got the idea.

[00:17:45] Speaker B: Okay, so if you’re finding yourself feeling irritable, what’s a simple step that you can take to recharge? You did say the breathing there. I mean, let’s just say somebody’s in the thick of it right now.

And, you know, when we get into that state of flight or fight sort of reaction because everything is so stressful, and that’s usually the, like, the point then that we irrationally will lash out at other people around us and say stupid things or behave in bizarre ways. What’s. What’s something that can actually help people pull themselves out of that sort of. That moment?

[00:18:21] Speaker A: Well, I’d like to step back a moment and just maybe give you something that people can do so that don’t get to that moment. And that would be just. Just to ask the universe, say. Because what happens is that in the beginning, because I went through this, I really wasn’t aware of what I was doing. And then once I became aware, like, was when I was in my 20s, what I did was like, it’s going to be all right. I’m just going to push away. I’m just going to do one more thing. So I was like, pushing all this negative energy, you know, into the, like, the outskirts of my energy field or in the. Or stuffing it into my body instead of actually doing it with it until I felt like I was going to burst. And so the first thing that we can do is choose to partner with the universe and ask to be shown when, just to make us aware when we’re beginning to be overloaded, when we really need a break. Because we’re a soul and a spirit occupying this human vehicle. Gaia gave it to us, and our upstairs helped us however we want to talk about it. So we have this body to work with, and it’s our human, and we need to keep it healthy and well. And if she starts getting irritable because you’ve been sitting for two hours and she needs to walk around, around to get some fresh air or whatever, we need to listen to her. And so. But sometimes we just weren’t aware. So we’re asking the universe, we’re asking our guides, please, please let me know if I’m getting, you know, if I’m. If I’m asleep and I’m not paying attention. And the second thing we need to do is be kind and patient and tolerant with ourselves and give ourselves a break, whatever that Is it’s going to help you. I mean, I used to go outside when I had my law office and we had a nice bench in the back, or I take a walk around block, or I would just do something to break what was going on in the office, get away from the electronics, get away from my cell phone and breathe and give myself that break or maybe have a cup of tea with it. I’m not a coffee person, just something to break it. So what we can. And if we get there and we’re totally overwhelmed and we haven’t done that, the first thing we want to do is to give ourselves a break and say, you know, I have feelings.

I’m not my feelings. I have emotions. I’m not my emotions. I have a mind. I’m not my thoughts, I’m not my mind. I am a spirit having this human experience.

And I made a mistake here. I’m not going to beat myself up about this. I’m going to use it as an opportunity to evolve and grow. I’m going to use as an opportunity to bring myself back to center but not beat myself up in the process. Because if we judge ourselves for having gotten there and not listening or whatever, we’re, you know, just judge ourselves flat out. It’s going to keep ourselves, you know, going around on this hamster wheel. Because what we were doing is like, first of all, we’re judging ourselves for what we’re feeling and then we’re judging ourselves for judging ourselves, and then we can’t get out of it. So we just make that anxiety go wild. So it’s, it’s bringing that awareness and then actually taking steps and not beating ourselves up for getting there. Like the breath work and the grounding and, or just, you know, hey, what would be really helpful right now to do or to be that could bring me back to, you know, that, that, that centered space. You know, sometimes we just really need to take a break and then come back and do something later.

[00:21:46] Speaker B: Yeah, like you said before, it’s like really sensing into yourself and deciding, what does my body really need right now? You know, what does it really, really need? Because often we get caught up in that loop, like you say, and you’re thinking about, thinking about, thinking about, thinking about. It’s not really, it’s not really here at all.

[00:22:07] Speaker A: I know.

No, it’s not. And we’re taught that we’re supposed to be thinking instead of feeling. And so we just like. And it gets bigger and bigger because you’re thinking and more and more and it’s like, I mean, as an attorney I’m really an expert at doing that to myself because. And I guess maybe that’s part of the way I developed that other part of my brain because it’s just not fun.

It’s really not fun at all.

[00:22:31] Speaker B: I found personally a little tricky thing that I learned a little way back was to use my left hand more because it actually opens up the creative and intuitive side of the body.

So if you really. Yeah. If you’re functionally normally like a right handed person, if you start forcing yourself to use your left hand, you actually become naturally calmer. It’s really interesting.

[00:22:50] Speaker A: Really? That’s really, really cool because. Yeah, the other way to look at it is just bringing the yin and the yang into bounds because the masculine is getting out and doing stuff and doing things in the world and, and the feminine’s more allowing and being and surrendering and we need to, you know, have a working relationship where they’re both, you know, in, in the best balance that we can, you know, so it’s cool if your left hand does that for you. Awesome.

[00:23:15] Speaker B: Yeah, I was, I was forced to learn that because I was using a mouse so much on my right hand. It actually started to develop lot of, lots of pain and really bizarre sort of oddness that I couldn’t use a mouse, it was just hurting. So I put the mouse on the other side and I started using on that side. I was like, wait a minute. And I started to feel my life get more calm. I was like, what is going on here? I did some research and found out about that. I was like, what? That actually works? Wow, that’s great. It was just a random accident and it worked. I loved it.

[00:23:42] Speaker A: Random, really? I think your body was talking to you and turning something off over here and giving you pain, so you had to do it.

[00:23:48] Speaker B: Yeah, true.

[00:23:50] Speaker A: You know, and all of a sudden you’re going, oh man, this is nice.

Doesn’t sound like an accident to me at all.

[00:23:56] Speaker B: No, no, it’s just nature in the end.

I was going to ask you though. So you’ve done a lot of coaching work with people. Do you have any examples that you could share with people going through and having a massive change in a breakthrough that you could share with the audience about your process?

[00:24:15] Speaker A: Well, first of all, you know, I do coaching and I do mentoring. So I think it’s important to know the difference with coaching. I’m not telling you what to do. I’m asking powerful questions. I might share an intuition or an insight about your body language or what you’re saying or a feeling based upon what you shared. But I know that you as a client, you have the answer within and I’m going to work with you so that you can find that. There’s also mentoring when I’m sharing my wisdom and maybe giving you assignments and things to do and we’re working, we’re partnering together like that, but I’m more sharing my wisdom and so that you can stand on my shoulders. But it’s two different sides of the coin, you know, both can be a working model for stepping into more work life balance with the mentoring. I work with both men and women, but if I just guess I’ll talk about it generally with coaching.

[00:25:02] Speaker B: Yeah.

[00:25:02] Speaker A: And I guess what I have. Let me see what’s a really good story, a really cool story is a client of mine and she was, I don’t know, maybe 10 years younger than me or something. Her, her daughter, she had two daughters. They were teenagers. And so she was really in the job that she worked at. She was like a middle management kind of person. And so she had a lot of people that she had to kind of kowtow to, you know, exactly follow their instructions. Not I’m being, I’m exaggerating, but it’s like, yes, ma’am, no, ma’am. And she really wasn’t in a place where she was making decisions and being in control. She had a lot of people saying, I need you to do this, I need you to do that. And she was one of those superwoman that was always there for them and doing a great job. And she was having a lot of problems with her two teenage daughters because she would come home and this is, this is a pretty normal thing that can happen to people. And she became the opposite kind of a tyrant, you know, and. And didn’t really even see how she was presenting herself and what she was doing and how she was participating in her teenage daughter’s life. And I guess what brought it to a head was they wanted a dog and she was saying no. And there was all these rational reasons in her head of why no dog. And they. And she was always saying she had this vision in her mind that her daughters were always going to be there with her. And I’m like watching this scenario play out and go, oh, my goodness. You know, she really didn’t see the dynamics and how she was pushing them away. And I never told her what to do, but I just allowed her to talk about what was going on at work and what was going on at home and asked her powerful questions and shared some insights about her body language and what I was noticing about her tone of voice and how she was describing her daughters in the situation. And she came to her own knowing. She was like, wow, I’m really doing things differently at home and this isn’t working. You know, I could give the dog a try. You know, I could, you know, I could give the dog a try. I’m not going to promise them we could keep it, but I’m going to give the dog a try. And this was over for, you know, a couple of months and it was just allowing her because with coaching we’re holding this nice big expansive space, judgment, free space, unconditionally loving. And we’re listening to our clients where you something you don’t get in like real life where I’m not thinking about what my client is saying when she’s talking. I’m not thinking about the story that relates to me that I’m going to share with her. Like that one up thing that people do. Yeah, I’m just being there for her. And in that space she was able to come to her own realization, her own knowing that the imbalance that she was experiencing and the frustration where she wanted her daughters to change and also her mother was also living with there with her.

This came to her naturally. She really all of a sudden have this epiphany and like almost knocked her over. And then we got to play with, okay, where to from here? What would you like to do? What would you like to try? And it doesn’t always happen that way. It’s really up to the client. But it was really cool to walk alongside her and to be a part of that process.

[00:28:19] Speaker B: Nice.

Now I was going to ask you as a meditation facilitator, what are some of the quick practices that you can suggest for busy individuals? You did talk about actually centering yourself by breathing and then stopping and maybe even walking mindfully in nature. That’s, that’s quite, quite a nice one for people. What other ones do you have?

[00:28:38] Speaker A: Well, that one is. It works with fight or flight. There is a really cool, simple breath work technique that. And I don’t teach a lot of them. I know there’s a lot of people who have, you know, I do visualization stuff. I don’t do anything with the kundalini rising because I feel like that just needs to happen naturally or you can have some really serious consequences.

[00:28:57] Speaker B: That’s right.

[00:28:59] Speaker A: Really, really simple and one way that we can align to love. So aligning to Love, that’s what we’re moving towards and centering in our heart. So we’re having that vertical and horizontal integration is just conscious connected breathing. And so we’re just breathing in through the nose and we’re breathing out through the nose. And there’s no pause between the in breath and the out breath. And so we just can breathe in like 1, 2, 3, 4, then out 2, 3, 4. We can listen to music that, you know, we find soothing and calm. We can be outside. It’s not as easy to do this one out in public. It’s kind of nice just to sit in a chair and experience that. As a meditation facilitator, I also like to encourage people, you know, if they, unless they really can’t do it, to sit down, not cross legged on the floor, but have your legs straight and not crossed and facing the feet, facing towards the planet, the earth so that you can get that spine straight, you can get that energy flowing down your spine, down your legs and into the heart of the planet as a straight flow. Especially if you have a big wide column of light that we talked about before.

So yeah, those are some of the things I do. And actually in the meditation work what I do is I work with energetic hygiene and psychic protection, which is a form of energy healing. So what I love to do is walk people through an energy, a clearing, an energy healing, like meditation clearing technique where we’re cleansing and clearing our energy field of negative and imbalanced energies. And we’re also filling ourselves up with more light and more love. We’re putting like really nice protection around us. We’re cutting energetic connections to other people that are not about love. And we’re also working with the universal violet flame which transmutes and transforms fear into love to flood any energetic connections that cannot be cut. So that’s one of the, that’s the prime thing I do in meditation, kind of my little niche. Because energetic connections that cannot be cut are like our genetic and sexual connections. So when we have a child or we’re still a daughter and our parents are alive, we’re energetically connected through all of our chakras to our parents. And it’s what we’ve had a love affair with somebody doesn’t have to be, you know, full sexual intercourse, we’re going to be connected to them or the time that we’re both alive. And so I flood those every day with the violet flame. I also work with that when I’m working with clients with meditation. And the other thing I do to really help people with meditation is because we’re in a physical form. We are energetically connected to all of humanity. All of humanity that is now embodied and in this moment in a physical form. And that can be a little bit like, oh, my God, I don’t want to feel all that, you know, the way. Because there’s a lot of separation energies, or lot of us against them. There’s a lot of hate. There’s a lot of energies that are pushing that instead of, you know, the harmony and balance that we are moving towards, it just we’re in the depths of something else right now. So I also flood, like the psyche of humanity, which is the mind of humanity, the psyche of all men and women and like all psyches and all collectives. So all groups of men and women that I have been a part of throughout time and space. I also flood that with the violet flame, which is like the seventh ray of source. It transmutes and transforms fear into love. I do this in my meditations so that we’re cleansing and clearing our energy field. Because otherwise we are so impacted by what people are thinking consciously, subconsciously, unconsciously. We’re impacted by anyone that we’ve had any kind of romantic relationship. We’re impacted by our genetic family. That’s a tremendous amount of impact from stuff that cannot be cut. Those energetic connections that cannot be cut that we just need to cleanse and clear. And once we start cleansing and clearing those every day and every day cutting any energetic connections that are just not about love, we’re going to feel a lot different. We’re going to be able to be more calm and relaxed. Because otherwise most of the stuff that we are feeling is not our stuff. And we can only process and move through our stuff.

And I’m just really grateful to know this and I really love sharing it.

[00:33:19] Speaker B: Yeah. I’m curious about what, what you think we are as a human. Then when you go, when you’re actually able to do that. I mean, I like to believe that we’re, you know, the human body itself is just the transition point in this reality and that we are a frequency being and in being. So then. Yeah, go ahead.

[00:33:43] Speaker A: Well, you know, we are a soul. We are a spirit. We’ve had, you know, many incarnations, and we’re always. We’re part of a much larger being. Maybe that’s part of what you’re saying. And. But the thing is, when you’re in a physical body, you’re going to experience everything in the physical body. And most people don’t have the, don’t have the skills or abilities because you, if you float above your body, which a lot of people do, and you’re not fully present in it while you’re having experiences and realizations and, and making new choices that you can take from lifetime to lifetime, if you’re not physically fully present here now, you’re not going to take it with you. You know, if you’re just floating above and in that la la land kind of experience, you need to be really fully grounded. So our body is a vehicle and we need to really take care of that vehicle. Now, I hear what you’re saying, because what most of us do is we put this human being who’s only known this lifetime, how many, how many years we’ve been on the planet, when this body dies, it dies. You know, the soul and the spirit live on and we’ll find ourselves in other places and spaces, but this physical body dies. But while we’re in it, it thinks, you know, we need to take care of it and we need to parent it because otherwise it’s got, you know, it can be really lazy. It can not want to do what we want to do. And we need to love and parent it so that we can enlighten the cells, make them more. A higher frequency, so that we can actually ground more light and love. It’s. We are the parent. We’re the ones who need to do all this. But we need to, we need to in, in a way do a better job with taking care of this human and not judging her or putting her down or making her wrong. Because why would she want to work with us?

[00:35:29] Speaker B: Exactly.

[00:35:30] Speaker A: You know, that’s how you get sick, right?

Well, yeah, that’s one way that you can stick. Or you just avoid and deny all your feelings and push them in your body or have a lot of negative thoughts. So I don’t know if I’m making any sense, but that’s my.

[00:35:44] Speaker B: No, you’re making complete sense to me. I mean, I totally, you know, vibe with all this. This actually makes a lot of good resonance with me. And I, and I do believe and really love the way that you described it as like parenting your body. I mean, that’s, that’s cool. That’s really, really good. And it’s a good way for people to understand that. Okay, so you have a responsibility to this being that is your experience vehicle. For you to have a good life, you’ve got to give it a good life. And.

[00:36:13] Speaker A: Yeah, and can I add. Do I have time to add one more Thing with that.

[00:36:15] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[00:36:17] Speaker A: Okay. So what happens is also a lot of times, and I’ve done this to myself, and I’ve been working with this for years, is that I didn’t like myself at certain ages in my life and my behavior. And so I. I neglected and abandoned these teenagers or these. Or I didn’t really know how to take care of the young kids when they felt, you know, hurt, you know, because they’re more. I was more empathetic and all that stuff when I was a kid. And so part of the healing process also when I’m having reactions or I feel really off, I’ll ask myself, okay, how old is this part of me inside? And I’ll turn around and I’ll do my best to love her. It’s. It was a lot easier. And it’s still an ongoing process with little kids. You know, they’re easy to love around, love them, give them an ice cream, or read a book to them. My teenagers were really pissed off with me, and it just took a while to. To be constant and consistent with them and really apologize because I was the one that stepped away. You know, I’m the. The greater being that I am. Just that I don’t want to deal with this, you know, I don’t want to deal with what you’re doing right now. As a teenager and a young woman, yes, some of my behavior wasn’t the best, but you really. You leave them to their own devices, and they don’t have the skills to really navigate the world. They need. They need the essence that we are. So it’s taken a lot of patience and time, and it’s like I feel one part, another part from somewhere else comes in, so. But is a really cool way to fill ourselves up with love and light.

[00:37:50] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. We’ve got to find that ground spot and also radiate from there. I mean, we can’t always do it consciously, but then we shouldn’t be torturing ourselves for not being perfect all the time.

[00:38:02] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. None of us are perfect all the time. I don’t know. I haven’t. I haven’t met a human, perfect human being. And I’ve had. I’ve had so many imperfections. And that’s cool. I mean, gives you a lot to learn. Gives you a great way to grow.

[00:38:15] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. Well, I like to think I’m perfect sometimes, but, you know, I know that just. Oh, really, myself. I’m kidding myself, you know, I’m only joking there, really. I know, okay, so I’m just thinking what else, what other questions should you, should I be asking you? I mean, you probably have other ideas that you’d like to talk about.

[00:38:38] Speaker A: Oh my gosh, no one’s ever asked me that as a podcast host before. What other ideas would I like to talk about?

I guess one thing that I’d like to share with you is that I feel as human beings often, you know, we’re very good at being kind, patient and tolerant with other people, especially people we love and care about, our friends, our family, our extended family, or you know, maybe people that we work with, people that we have an affinity to. I do yoga, so I have a whole little lovely yoga community or people that I go hiking with. And so if one of those people are hurting, you know, I will. I’ve always taken the time, if I possibly can, to listen and be a nurturing, supportive person there for them and listen. But oftentimes I notice with other people that we do not do that for ourselves. It just really natural. But there’s something there where it’s in like the psyche of humanity that is selfish. It’s self centered to fill ourselves with love and turn around and give ourselves that self care. And nothing could be further from the truth. So what we can do, what I want to share is that we all have that foundation. You know, we know how to be kind and patient and tolerant with others, especially those in our immediate sphere. So all we really need to do is, and this is in response to something that you asked me earlier. When you’re really frazzled, besides loving the kids inside and the teenagers inside, is if a friend of yours was saying exactly how you feel in this moment, all frazzled and overwhelmed and anxious and feeling like you’re going to burst and scream, what would you say to her? What would you say to him? You know, how would you nurture, support, uplift, champion them? You know, if they had their head up a dark place, how would you deliver that cup love in a way that they could receive it and do something with it and then turn around and start practicing giving it to yourself? It’s not, it’s going to take time because the ship has been going in the other direction, you know, where we’ve been avoiding and denying and pushing those things away. Because I don’t know about you, I was taught to push down some of those feelings when I was growing up, that it wasn’t okay to be really, really angry or really, really upset about something. So a lot of things got pushed down. And this is a really kind, nurturing, wonderful process to engage in for ourselves because we don’t have to learn anything new. Those skills are already there.

[00:41:04] Speaker B: Self care is very key, I think, and the recognition of your own needs is super important. And I don’t know, maybe stepping back and even asking yourself the question, what would it take for you to approve of yourself in those moments?

What can I do to find my center again?

[00:41:27] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, you know. You know, that’s. Yeah. What do I really need now?

[00:41:32] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.

Well, Arlene, we’ve actually come towards the end of the podcast and this is the time that I usually tell people to give me your links and everything. Now, I know Your website is jewelconsultancy.com for people to come and find you. Is that the best place for people to come and find you and maybe take you up as a mentor or a coach?

[00:41:56] Speaker A: Yeah. And, you know, if you just want to maybe chat first or something like that, if you’re in, you know, U.S. or Canada, you can text me at my cell, which is 720-936-2634.

[00:42:09] Speaker B: Yep.

[00:42:10] Speaker A: If I don’t reply right away, I might be, you know, traveling a little bit, but I will get back to you or, you know, if I don’t answer right away. On my website, there’s some great videos about, you know, how to become, how to be collected and as some of the things we’ve talked about and also how to bring some leadership skills in your life. And I have a really extensive blog on about any topic you could think of, not just work, life balance. It’s all free, so you can always check out there and if you need some support, that’ll be there for you as well.

[00:42:40] Speaker B: Nice. Thank you so much for your time, Eileen. That’s. It’s really appreciated. I’ve enjoyed our chat and your understanding of pretty much refining that center that people need to find, you know, in the chaos of the world. And then, you know, that talk around self care and looking after the body as even as a parent of your own self is really important. I think people need to hear that.

[00:43:06] Speaker A: Well, thank you.

[00:43:07] Speaker B: All right, I’ll just say goodbye the listeners.

[00:43:10] Speaker A: Goodbye.

[00:43:15] Speaker B: I enjoyed that talk with Arlene.

We went over some really good ideas to do with looking after the body and our consciousness and finding that that centering in the cyclone of life. And I appreciate all that she shared. So if you’ve enjoyed today’s show, please reach out to Arlene. She gave out her number on the show, but also I’ll produce the show notes with a link in it. If you go to the website and if you’ve enjoyed today’s show, please like and subscribe. If you’re on YouTube and if you’re on a podcast app, I mean, hardly anyone does this, but if you really do like it, please get on there and give us a five stars. And if you think somebody else needs to hear this episode because you enjoyed it so much, please share it to them now. That’d be really appreciated because more ears actually means more people get to hear it and more people get to make great change for themselves. So thank you so much for listening. Until next episode, it’s bye for now.

 

 

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